Christian Art | Jonathan And David | Spiritual Love And Friendship | Christian Faith
Office Of Readings | Week 12, Wednesday, Ordinary Time | A Reading From The Treatise Of Saint Aelred On Spiritual Friendship | True And Perfect Friendship | Jesus Christ
‘True, perfect and enduring friendship in Jesus Christ.’
Historical And Monastic Context
Saint Aelred was a 12th-century Cistercian abbot who lived within a spiritual tradition that emphasised both community life and the inner journey to God. His reflections on friendship are deeply shaped by Cistercian ideals of caritas—a love that is disinterested, holy and rooted in the life of Christ. Unlike worldly friendships based on advantage or pleasure, spiritual friendship seeks what is good for the other in God. It is a school of charity, a training ground for grace.
In constructing his argument, Aelred draws heavily from the Roman philosopher Cicero’s De Amicitia, adapting its classical ideal of virtue-based friendship and transforming it through the lens of Christian revelation. For Aelred, friendship does not merely mirror virtue—it is a vehicle by which one becomes holy.
The Biblical Model | Jonathan And David
The friendship between Jonathan and David, found in 1 Samuel, is the foundation of Aelred’s reflection. Jonathan, though the rightful heir to Saul’s throne, sets aside ambition and claims no privilege over David, recognising God’s will and aligning his loyalty with righteousness. In saying, ‘You will be king, and I will be next below you,’ Jonathan shows not just affection but spiritual maturity. He chooses self-emptying love (kenosis) over personal gain, prefiguring Christ’s own words: ‘Whoever wants to be first must be the servant of all.’
Jonathan’s loyalty withstands tests of family pressure, political threat, and personal cost. Saul’s furious attempts to stir up jealousy and resentment in his son are in vain. This steadfastness under persecution models the unchanging nature of true friendship, rooted not in shared interest but in shared devotion to God’s will.
Theological Dimensions Of Friendship
For Aelred, friendship is a path to sanctity. It is not merely permissible within the Christian life—it is indispensable. Citing John 15, where Jesus calls his disciples ‘friends’, Aelred sees friendship as the natural state of those who live in Christ. This echoes Saint Gregory of Nyssa’s view that the Christian life must be fully conformed to Christ in thought, word and deed—something that deep friendship helps cultivate.
Moreover, friendship is sacramental in a broad sense—it reveals and participates in divine love. The Eucharist, the sacrament of unity, can be seen as the liturgical culmination of spiritual friendship, binding believers together in the one Body of Christ. Aelred’s emphasis on loyalty and mutual upbuilding finds resonance in the communal dimensions of liturgical life.
A Countercultural Witness
Aelred’s vision also speaks prophetically to our own era. In a culture marked by transactional relationships and digital connectivity, spiritual friendship challenges us to slow down, be present, and love without condition. It demands vulnerability, constancy, and forgiveness. It is a discipline of soul as much as a delight of the heart.
His insistence that true friendship cannot be broken even under abuse or misunderstanding holds a particular relevance in an age of fleeting alliances and shallow bonds. Christian friendship is enduring because it is grounded not in utility or pleasure but in God.
A Reading From The Treatise Of Saint Aelred On Spiritual Friendship | True And Perfect Friendship | Jesus Christ
That outstanding youth, Jonathan, son of King Saul, made an alliance with David, but it was not in the hope of obtaining the royal crown or winning the kingdom. For the sake of their friendship, he set David above himself as if he had been his master and not his own father’s servant, expelled, hiding in the desert, sentenced to death, destined for execution – he abased himself and raised David up: You will be king, he said, and I will be next below you in rank.
What an excellent example of true friendship! What a wonder! The king was raging against his servant and stirring up the whole country as if against a pretender to the throne. He accuses priests of treachery and has them killed on the mere suspicion – he has the forests and the valleys searched – he posts armed guards on cliffs and mountains. Everyone swears to punish the object of the king’s anger; but Jonathan, who alone has the right to envy the designated successor to the throne – Jonathan chose to resist his father, keep his friend supplied with news, give him counsel in his adversity. Thinking it better to be a friend than a king: You will be king, he said, and I will be next below you in rank.
See how the father tried to make the young man envy his friend, how he goaded him with insults, threatened him with dispossession, and warned him of the honours he would lose. But even when Saul had condemned David to death, Jonathan did not fail his friend. ‘Why should David die? What has he done wrong? What has he done? It was he who took his life in his hands and struck down the Philistine – you rejoiced, then. So why should he die?’
At these words the king was beside himself with rage and tried to pin Jonathan to the wall with his spear, pouring out new insults and threats. ‘Son of a wanton and lascivious woman! I know that you love him, to your own shame and the shame of your shameless mother!’ Then he poured out on the young man all the venom he had in him. He tried to stir up ambition and envy, bitterness and jealousy in Jonathan’s breast: As long as the son of Jesse lives, your kingdom cannot be established.
Who would not have been moved to jealousy by these words? Whose love would not have been corrupted, grace diminished, friendship wiped out? But this most loving youth held fast to the oaths of friendship he had sworn, stood up to the threats, endured the insults, and disdained the kingdom for the sake of friendship, careless of the glory he would miss but mindful of the integrity he would keep. You will be king, he said, and I will be next below you in rank.
Here is a true and perfect friendship, solid and eternal: a friendship that envy does not corrupt, suspicion does not diminish or ambition wipe out. It does not cease even under such a trial; even under such a battering it does not collapse. Assailed with abuse, it stands firm; beaten with insults, it does not bend. Go thou, and do likewise.
Prayer With Jesus
Lord Jesus Christ, You called your disciples friends, and showed us the way of perfect love. Grant us the grace to form friendships that reflect your fidelity, friendships unshaken by envy, ambition, or fear. May we, like Jonathan, uphold one another in truth, and like David, cherish the loyalty that comes from you. Let our friendships be schools of charity, where we learn to love as you love. Unite our hearts in your peace, that we may journey together toward the fullness of your kingdom.
Amen.
Glossary Of Christian Terms
- Cistercian: A Roman Catholic monastic order known for its emphasis on austerity, simplicity, and community life.
- Caritas: Latin for Christian love, especially selfless love that seeks the good of the other.
- Kenosis: Greek term meaning ‘self-emptying’; refers to Christ’s humility and renunciation of divine privilege.
- De Amicitia: A classical Roman treatise on friendship by Cicero, widely influential in the medieval Christian understanding of virtue-based relationships.
- Hesed: A Hebrew word often translated as loving-kindness or covenantal loyalty.
- Spiritual friendship: A Christian ideal of friendship rooted in shared pursuit of holiness and mutual love in Christ.
- Sacramental: In this context, something that reflects or participates in the grace and mystery of God’s love.
- Discipleship: The practice of following Christ in all areas of life, including relationships.
- Liturgical life: The public worship of the Church, especially the celebration of the Eucharist.
Padre Pio, also known as Saint Pio of Pietrelcina, was an Italian Capuchin friar who lived from 1887 to 1968. He is renowned for his piety, his stigmata, and his gift of healing, and has become a beloved figure in the Christian world. Born into a devout Catholic family in Pietrelcina, Italy, Padre Pio felt a calling to the priesthood from a young age. He entered the Capuchin order in 1903 and was ordained a priest in 1910. He spent much of his life as a humble friar, dedicated to prayer, the sacraments, and the service of others. Padre Pio’s most famous spiritual gift was the stigmata, the visible wounds of Christ that he bore on his hands, feet, and side. He experienced this phenomenon for over 50 years, from 1918 until his death in 1968. While some were skeptical of his wounds, many believed them to be a sign of his profound union with Christ and his participation in the suffering of the crucified Christ. In addition to his stigmata, Padre Pio was also known for his gift of healing. Many people came to him seeking physical, emotional, and spiritual healing, and he prayed over them, sometimes prescribing special devotions or treatments. While some were healed miraculously, others did not experience a physical cure, but nonetheless found comfort and peace through his intercession. Padre Pio’s life was marked by his devotion to God and his love for others. He spent long hours in prayer, often in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, and had a deep appreciation for the power of the Eucharist. He also had a special love for the Virgin Mary, whom he called his ‘Heavenly Mother’, and encouraged others to pray the Rosary. Today, Padre Pio is venerated as a saint by the Catholic Church, and his influence has spread far beyond Italy. He is remembered for his holiness, his humility, and his profound union with Christ, as well as for his compassion and concern for the sick and suffering. Christians of all denominations continue to look to him as a model of faith and devotion to God. Prayer To Saint Padre Pio | A Prayer For Healing Saint Padre Pio is renowned for his gift of healing, which he used to help countless people throughout his life. He believed in the power of prayer and the importance of placing our trust in God, even in the face of illness and suffering. In James 5:16, we are reminded that ‘the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective’. Padre Pio’s life was a testament to the truth of this verse, as he interceded for those who came to him seeking physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. One of the most striking examples of Padre Pio’s healing ministry was the case of Gemma Di Giorgi, a young girl who had been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Her parents brought her to Padre Pio, who prayed over her and blessed her with the sign of the cross. To the amazement of her doctors, Gemma’s condition began to improve, and she was eventually healed completely. In addition to physical healing, Padre Pio also believed in the importance of emotional and spiritual healing. He often spoke of the need for repentance and conversion, and encouraged his followers to turn to God with contrite hearts. In Luke 5:31-32, Jesus tells the Pharisees, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.’ Padre Pio understood that true healing involves not only the body, but also the soul. For those who are in need of healing, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, Saint Padre Pio can serve as a powerful intercessor. He believed in the importance of prayer and the power of God’s grace to heal even the most difficult of cases. Through his intercession, we can ask God for the strength and courage to face our illnesses and our struggles, knowing that we are never alone and that God’s healing love is always with us. So let us pray: ‘Saint Padre Pio, you who had a deep faith in God and a profound love for your fellow human beings, we turn to you in our time of need. We ask for your intercession on behalf of all those who are sick and suffering, that they may be healed in body, mind, and spirit. We ask that you pray for us, that we may have the strength and courage to face our illnesses and our struggles with faith and hope, knowing that God is with us always. We trust in God’s love and mercy, and in the power of prayer to bring healing and wholeness to all who seek it. Saint Padre Pio, pray for us, and lead us to the healing grace of God. Amen.’ Prayer To Saint Padre Pio | A Prayer For Peace Saint Padre Pio was a man of peace, who lived his life in the service of God and his fellow human beings. He believed that peace was not merely the absence of conflict, but a state of inner harmony that could only be achieved through a deep and abiding relationship with God. In John 14:27, Jesus tells his disciples, ‘Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.’ Padre Pio understood the importance of this peace, and dedicated his life to helping others find it. One of the ways that Padre Pio fostered peace was through his ministry of reconciliation. He encouraged those who came to him to confess their sins and seek God’s forgiveness, knowing that this was the first step towards inner peace. In Matthew 5:9, Jesus says, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.’ Padre Pio believed that this was not just a call to be a mediator in conflicts between […]
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