The Ten Commandments | The Fourth Commandment: ‘Honour Your Father And Mother’

The Ten Commandments | The Fourth Commandment | ‘Honour your father and mother’ | King James Audio Bible

The fourth commandment, ‘Honour your father and mother,’ instructs Christians to show respect, love, and obedience to their parents. This commandment is important because it reflects the natural order of the family and promotes harmony within the family unit. It is a way for Christians to fulfil their responsibilities and duties as children, and to show gratitude for the love and care that their parents have provided for them.

According to the Catechism, this commandment ‘shows gratitude to God’s gift of life and acknowledges the role of parents in passing on that life’ (CCC 2214). It is also seen as a way to honour God, as parents are seen as a ‘representation of God’s authority and love’ (CCC 2215).

Given an ideal family situation, the commandment can involve listening to parents’ advice and guidance, and following their rules and expectations. It can involve showing appreciation and gratitude for parents’ love and care, such as through acts of kindness or by expressing heartfelt thanks and appreciation.

Another way to fulfil this commandment is by supporting and helping one’s parents as they grow older and may need additional assistance. This can involve providing emotional support, helping with practical tasks such as running errands or helping with household chores, or even providing financial support if necessary.

The commandment does not require Christians to blindly obey their parents without question, but rather to show respect and honor while also using their own judgment and making decisions that are in line with their values and beliefs as Christians. As the Catechism states, ‘Children should strive to imitate the virtues of their parents, but they are not bound to follow their vices’ (CCC 2215).

What Place Does The Family Have Both In The State And In God’s Plan Of Salvation?

In the State, the family is seen as a fundamental unit of society and is often recognized as the primary place where individuals learn values, morals, and behaviours that shape their character and influence their interactions with others. The family is also often seen as the source of support and protection for its members, and as a place where individuals can find love, acceptance, and belonging.

In God’s plan of salvation, the family plays a vital role. The Bible teaches that God created the family as the foundational unit of society, with the purpose of providing a loving and supportive environment for the growth and development of its members. In the New Testament, Jesus affirmed the importance of the family by stating that ‘a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ (Matthew 19:5). The family is also seen as a place where individuals can learn about and experience the love of God, and where they can grow in their faith and relationship with God.

The family is seen as a place where individuals can learn and practice the virtues of love, selflessness, and sacrifice, as they work to care for and support one another. This reflects the biblical teaching that ‘love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs’ (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). These virtues are important not only for the well-being of the family, but also for the well-being of society as a whole.

How Should A Family Live Its Faith Together?

There are many ways that a family can live its faith together and grow in their relationship with God. What follows is a selection of advice that has been widely shared and may be considered traditional.

1. Pray together: Praying together as a family can help to strengthen the family bond and provide an opportunity for all members to share their thoughts, feelings, and needs with God. It can also help to cultivate a sense of unity and purpose within the family.
2. Attend church and participate in other faith-based activities: Attending church services and participating in other faith-based activities such as Bible studies or youth groups can provide opportunities for the family to learn about and grow in their faith together.
3. Serve others: Serving others is a great way for a family to live out their faith and put their beliefs into action. This can involve volunteering at a local shelter or food bank, participating in mission trips, or simply finding ways to help those in need within the community.
4. Practise forgiveness: Forgiveness is an important aspect of the Christian faith, and it is important for families to practise forgiveness towards one another. This can involve apologizing for wrongdoing and actively seeking to repair relationships when conflicts arise.
5. Share meals and spend quality time together: Sharing meals and spending quality time together as a family can help to create a sense of connection and strengthen family bonds. This can involve regularly scheduled family dinners or simply finding time to do activities together as a family.

Every family is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. It is important for families to find what works best for them and to be open to finding new ways to grow in their faith together.

How Are Parents Best Advised To Honour Their Children?

Honouring one’s children is an important aspect of parenting that can have a profound impact on their well-being and development. When we honour our children, we show them that we love and value them, and that we are committed to supporting their growth and happiness.

As above, this is a selection of advice that has been widely shared among church communities and may be considered traditional.

1. Show love and affection: One of the most important ways that parents can honour their children is by showing them love and affection. This can involve expressing love through words and actions, such as by giving them hugs and kisses, telling them ‘I love you,’ or writing them notes of encouragement. It can also involve spending quality time with them and doing activities that they enjoy. For example, a parent might take their child to the park to play, or sit down with them to read a book together. By showing love and affection to our children, we let them know that they are special to us and that we are always there for them.
2. Provide for needs: Parents have a responsibility to provide for the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of their children. This can involve meeting their basic needs such as food, shelter, and clothing, as well as providing for their emotional and spiritual needs through love, support, and guidance. For example, a parent might make sure that their child has a warm place to sleep and clean clothes to wear, and also spend time listening to their concerns and offering words of encouragement. By providing for our children’s needs, we show them that we care about their well-being and that we are committed to helping them thrive.
3. Respect autonomy: As children grow and mature, it is important for parents to respect their autonomy and to allow them to make their own decisions and choices. This can involve giving them space and freedom to explore their interests and to make mistakes, while still providing guidance and support. For example, a parent might allow their child to choose their own clothes or activities, while still setting boundaries and providing guidance on important issues. By respecting our children’s autonomy, we show them that we trust them and that we believe in their ability to make good decisions.
4. Encourage growth and development: Parents can honour their children by encouraging their growth and development, both as individuals and as members of the family. This can involve supporting their education and helping them to develop their skills and talents, as well as encouraging them to be responsible and to contribute to the family. For example, a parent might help their child with their homework, enrol them in extracurricular activities, or encourage them to help with household chores. By encouraging our children’s growth and development, we show them that we believe in their potential and that we are committed to helping them reach their goals.
5. Model Christian values: Parents can honour their children by modelling Christian values and teaching them about the love and grace of God. This can involve reading the Bible together, praying together, and living out one’s faith in daily life. For example, a parent might take their child to church on Sundays, pray with them before meals, or volunteer together at a local charity. By modelling Christian values for our children, we show them the importance of living a life guided by faith and love, and we help to shape their understanding of what it means to be a faithful and loving person.

Give Advice For How We Might Best Honour Our Parents As The Years Pass

1. Show gratitude and appreciation: One of the most important ways to honour one’s parents is to show gratitude and appreciation for all that they have done for you. This can involve expressing your appreciation through words and actions, such as by thanking them for their love and support, or by doing small gestures such as bringing them a gift or writing them a heartfelt note.
2. Keep in touch: Staying in touch with your parents as you get older is an important way to honour them and to show them that they are still an important part of your life. This can involve making an effort to visit or call regularly, or keeping them updated on your life through letters or email.
3. Offer assistance and support: As your parents age, they may need extra assistance and support. Offering to help with tasks such as errands, home repairs, or medical appointments is a great way to honour them and to show them that you care.
4. Spend quality time together: Spending quality time with your parents is an important way to honour them and to strengthen your relationship. This can involve setting aside time to do activities that you both enjoy, or simply spending time together talking and catching up.
5. Respect and value opinions: As you get older, it is important to continue to respect and value your parents’ opinions and to seek their guidance and advice. This can involve listening to their perspective and seeking their input on important decisions, even if you ultimately make your own choices.

Is It True That God Is More Important Than The Family?

It is true that God is the ultimate authority and that our relationship with God should be our highest priority. As Christians, we are called to love God above all else, and to seek to follow His will for our lives.

At the same time, it is important to recognize the value and importance of family relationships. The Bible teaches that the family is a foundational unit of society, and that parents have a special role in teaching and nurturing their children in the faith. In Ephesians 6:4, it says, ‘Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.’

It is important to strike a balance between our relationship with God and our relationships with our family members. While our relationship with God should always be our highest priority, we should also seek to honor and love our family members and to treat them with respect and compassion.

Does Our Relationship With God Enable Our Relationship With Family?

Our relationship with God can certainly have a positive impact on our relationships with our family members. When we have a strong and vibrant relationship with God, it can help us to develop the qualities of love, compassion, patience, and forgiveness that are necessary for healthy family relationships. It can also give us the strength and guidance we need to navigate challenges and conflicts that may arise within our families.

On the other hand, if our relationship with God is weak or neglected, it can be more difficult to have positive and healthy relationships with our family members. It is important to prioritize and nurture our relationship with God in order to have the best possible relationships with our family members.

What If The Father And Mother Do Not Know Jesus Christ?

If your parents do not know Jesus Christ, it is not your responsibility to ‘convert’ them or to force them to believe in Christ. It is ultimately up to each individual to decide whether or not to accept Jesus as their Saviour.

Perhaps you can invite your father and mother to learn more about Jesus.

1. Pray for them: One of the most powerful ways to share your faith with your parents is to pray for them. Pray that God will open their hearts and minds to His love and truth, and that He will give you opportunities to share your faith with them.
2. Invite them to church: Inviting your parents to attend church with you can be a great way to expose them to the teachings of Jesus and to the community of believers.
3. Share your own faith journey: Share with your parents about your own faith journey and how Jesus has made a difference in your life. Talk about the joy and hope that your faith brings you and how it has impacted your life.
4. Be a good example: One of the most effective ways to share your faith with your parents is to simply be a good example of a Christian. Live out your faith through your words and actions, and let your love for Jesus shine through in all that you do.

What Does Jesus Say About Honouring My Father And My Mother?

In Mark 10:19, Jesus says, ‘You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not bear false witness, do not defraud, honour your father and mother.’’ In this passage, Jesus includes honouring one’s parents as one of the Ten Commandments, along with other important moral teachings.

In Matthew 15:4, Jesus also teaches about the importance of honouring one’s parents when he says, ‘For God commanded, ‘Honour your father and your mother,’ and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother, let him surely die.’’ This passage emphasizes the importance of respecting and honouring one’s parents, and the serious consequences of speaking evil of or disobeying them.

How Have Other Writers And Religious Leaders Commented On The Commandment?

Many Christian religious leaders have spoken about the importance of honouring one’s father and mother, and have offered their own perspectives on how this commandment applies to our lives as Christians today.

In the book of Ephesians, the apostle Saint Paul writes: ‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honour your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—’so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth’.’

In his letter to the Colossians, Saint Paul writes: ‘Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.’

In the Anglican Church, the catechism states that ‘the fourth commandment requireth the preserving the honour, and performing the duties, belonging to everyone in their several places and relations, as superiors, inferiors, or equals.’

In the protestant Church, Martin Luther stated that ‘the fourth commandment bids us honour, love, and obey our father and mother, and to help them in every way we can.’

In the Bible, in Proverbs, it is stated: ‘Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.’

Pope Francis has spoken extensively about the importance of honouring one’s father and mother, and how this commandment applies to our lives as Catholics today. In his apostolic exhortation ‘Amoris Laetitia’ (‘The Joy of Love’), Pope Francis states that ‘the family is the first school of the virtues that are necessary for a society that wishes to be truly open and democratic. These virtues include honesty, responsibility, fairness, respect for others and the ability to reason and dialogue. The first virtue learned in the family is respect for authority and the duty to obey just rules.’

He also emphasises the importance of reconciling with parents if necessary: ‘If the parents are still living, I would encourage everyone to make peace with them while they are still alive. We need to reconcile with our parents while they are still alive, while there is still time. It is a grace that we need to ask for, a grace that we need to receive. Peace with our parents means peace with ourselves. It means that we are able to look at ourselves with a clear conscience. It means that we can look to the future with hope.’

Pope Francis also emphasizes the importance of caring for elderly parents. In his general audience of February 12, 2014, he stated: ‘The commandment to honour one’s father and mother also extends to caring for one’s elderly parents, especially when they can no longer care for themselves. This care may involve providing for their physical needs, but it should also involve showing them love and respect. ‘

The Pope often cites the fourth commandment in his speeches, as it serves as an example of the importance of respect and love, especially towards the elderly.

He also stressed out the importance of the love and respect to be shown towards grandparents: ‘I think of the importance of grandparents in passing on the human and religious heritage which is so essential for each and every family. They are the memory of the family and of the people.’

Are There More Contemporary Examples?

Dr. James Dobson, a Christian author and founder of the organization Focus on the Family, has written extensively about the importance of honouring one’s father and mother. He states that ‘God’s command to honour our parents is not a suggestion, but a mandate. It is not a matter of personal preference but of obedience to the word of God.’ He also emphasizes the importance of showing respect and gratitude towards parents and the role that they play in shaping our lives.

Pastor Rick Warren, author of the book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ also frequently addresses the importance of honouring one’s father and mother. He writes that ‘the fourth commandment is one of the Ten Commandments given to us by God. It is not just a suggestion, but a commandment and that command is to honour your father and mother.’ He also stresses the importance of caring for elderly parents in a respectful way, and treating them with the same honour and respect that one would show to any other authority figure.

In a similar way, pastor and author John MacArthur has stated that ‘honouring our parents is a basic, foundational principle of God’s moral law. It is one of the Ten Commandments, and it is not open to interpretation or negotiation. It is a command, and it is binding on every person who claims to be a Christian.’